Friday, December 12, 2008


A DAS Blog Public Service Announcement

Good morning fellow residents of the NYC area. Yesterday and today, as you no doubt already know, we have experienced a phenomenon known as "rain". Rain occurs when atmospheric disturbances cause the "precipitation" of water from the sky. Rain is a common phenomenon and nothing to be afraid of. For instance, contrary to what you may have heard, people (not even witches) do NOT melt in the rain.

Did you know that rain consists mainly of water with dissolved gasses that make it pH balanced? Did you know that the New York area gets over 3 feet of rain a year?

Rain can be safe and enjoyable if only a few small safety precautions are observed. There is no need to cover you or your children head to toe in plastic: exposure to rain does not harm the skin nor does it cause colds. That being said, wearing only a mico-mini-skirt in cold rain is likely to weaken the immune system, resulting in increased susceptibility to colds. Please dress sensibly in the rain.

Driving in the rain is a challenge to many. Many are concerned that if they go faster than 20 miles per hour, their car will take off like an airplane and cause them to arrive in La Guardia 3 hours late for a business meeting. This does not occur. There is no need to restrict one's speed to 20 MPH on Interstate Highways merely because of rain. Speed limits in this country are typically set so that, except in the worst of weather, it is safe to drive on the road even at the speed limit.

That being said, rain can cause slippery roads and reduced visibility, which lead to potentially dangerous driving conditions. Thus, it is necessary in the rain to slow down below 80 MPH and not drive like the complete asshole you perhaps are. Accidents are no fun for anyone: not for those involved in the accident. Not for those stuck in traffic due to the fact that people don't understand the concept of merging so that any reduction in available lanes immediately causes traffic to exhibit a change from laminar to chaotic flow.

Fellow New Yorkers: I thank you for listening to this important public service announcement. With proper care rain can be fun, enjoyable and even romantic and need not involve catching a cold which is then spread to everyone with a pre-school age child nor accidents that cause 1 hour back-ups over the George Washington Bridge.

Next week we will learn about the white stuff that falls from the sky here during winter. It is not the Angels of the Holy One having bad dandruff. It is called snow ... and again, with a few simple precautions (not driving like a complete asshole, cleaning off your sidewalk before the snow turns to ice, etc.) can be extremely enjoyable.

Thank you for your attention.

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