DAS Blog

... ein Niebelung ist beinahe schon ein Troll (I guess).

Again I have been mistaken for a regressive sexist pig-troll on a feminist site simply because I dared question the Puritanism (which they would mis-understand and attribute to the right) of the place. While I know "Timmy" (IIRC, that's what Nate calls him on these here internets, so I'll continue that tradition -- and, I am aware of all internet traditions. I hope "Timmy" doesn't mind me quoting this personal communication ... I figure I'm not divulging anything here anyway) questions my facebook identification of being "very liberal", I might boast that where I deviate from political correctness is not because I am less than liberal (although it is where I am "conservative", c.f. various posts on this here blog) I see the face (to use the language of Talmudic aggaddah) of liberalism whereas the others see the back of liberalism.

To whit, the issue at hand: there seem to be some in the feminist community that seem to feel that, I guess as redress for a history of men using and objectifying women, that the tables should now turn (Talmudic allusion not intended) and men should now be, and only be, at the, um, service of women. But (watch out for the Puritanism) a man should not feel any pleasure at being of service or, shall we say, pride in a job well done -- because then "it becomes about the man's ego" which is teh evil. I'm all for a bit of affirmative action to redress past wrongs, but this is a bit ridiculous.

Maybe I'm getting something wrong because I'm new to this sort of thing but it seems to me that healthy relationships are based on compromise. Healthy relationships are based on give and take. To expect one person to make changes without being meant half-way is patently unfair and sexist -- whether you expect the man to make changes or the woman to make changes.

How is it being sexist and regressive to ask that if one person in a relationship asks another to change, that person should be willing to change as well? How is it sexist to expect your partner to meet you half way? How is it sexist to expect that a woman take some degree of charge of her own wants, desires and needs and to actually bother to communicate them rather than expecting us men to magically know what our partners needs are? If anything, the so-called feminists were devolving into stereotypes about women themselves.

I guess I'm very lucky to have married such a lovely woman who believes in communication and in partnership. Some people who you'd think would be the first to believe in equality and partnership evidently are not -- and label you a regressive, sexist troll-pig just for being a Niebelung ;)